Good Vibrations

Okay TMI alert, but the vibrations I’m talking about… this diet makes me fart. A lot. Luckily, it’s pure quantity and not much stink, so yeah. That’s fun.

Oh and I take three pill before dinner to aid my liver in purifying and detoxing my body… then this noxious concoction of natural soluble and insoluble fiber. The directions say, “Take with at least 8 oz of water.” Thanks box, for the conservative estimate. How about like 80 oz of water? The stuff does not dissolve, but rather swirls around endlessly in its cloudy glass, settling into a primal ooze in the bottom of the cup. Then before bed, three more pills that smell sweet but taste really sour and are supposed to aid in moving it all on out “gently” as my friend Box says.

Furthermore, last night I dreamed I was whizzing down a giant slide filled with Cheetos. After endless spirals and dips, I shot out of the bottom into a giant pool full of Cheetos! Spicy Cheetos, crunchy Cheetos,  puffed Cheetos… I think Chester was in there somewhere. Funny thing is, I don’t even really like Cheetos. I love stuffing my face with Kettle Chips instead, because at least the fatty oils are natural. At any rate, that processed food dream came after just one day of cleansing. What will the rest bring? Ha.

And for posterity, today I ate:

Breakfast: smoothie comprised of 1 gigantuous banana, a handful of blueberries, ice and around half a cup of Green Machine Naked Juice. And one organic egg.

Lunch: Organic apple with natural peanut butter, a cutie, half a banana.

Snack: Raw almonds, Key Lime Pie Lara Bar.

Dinner: Spinach apple salad (neither of which were organic, since they came from the A Cafe) with candied walnuts (oops, forgot about the candied part… but they were so dang good I couldn’t stop eating), conventional tomatoes and organic yellow pepper. Mmmmm.

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